+1 (208) 254-6996 [email protected]
  

“You can’t say something to the boss about our upcoming

move. It’ll cost you your job.”

Don't use plagiarized sources. Get Your Custom Essay on
“You can’t say something to the boss about our upcoming move. It’ll cost you your job.”
Just from $13/Page
Order Essay

To these people we say: Remember Kevin? He, and almost every

other opinion leader we’ve ever studied, has what it takes to speak up and maintain respect. Maybe you don’t know what Kevin did or

what you need to do-but don’t deny the existence of Kevin or peo­

ple l ike him. There is a third set of options out there that allows you

tu add meaning to the pool and build on the relationship.

 

 

42 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS

When we (the authors) are in the middle of an on-site work­ shop and we suggest there are alternatives to Sucker’s Choicesj someone invariably says: “Maybe you can speak honestly and

still be heard in other organizations, but if you try it here, you’ll be eaten alive!” Or the flip side: “You’ve got to know when to fold if you want to survive for another day.” Then in a hail of “I’ll say!” and “Here, here! ” many nod in agreement.

At first, we thought that maybe there were places where dia­ logue couldn’t survive. But then we learned to ask: “Are you say­ ing there isn’t anyone you know who is able to hold a high-risk conversation in a way that solves problems and builds relation­ ships?” There usually is.

SUMMARY-START WITH HEART

Here’s how people who are skilled at dialogue stay focused on their goals-particularly when the going gets tough.

Work on Me First

• Remember that the only person you can directly control is

yourself.

Focus on What You Real ly Want

• When you find yourself moving toward silence or violencej stop and pay attention to your motives.

• Ask yourself: “What does my behavior tell me about what

my motives are?”

• Then, clarify what you really want. Ask yourself: “What do I want for myself? For others? For the relationship?”

• And finally, ask: “How would I behave if this were what I really wanted?”

 

 

START WITH HEART 43

Refuse the Sucker’s Choice

• As you consider what you want, notice when you start talking

yourself into a Sucker’s Choice.

• Watch to see if you’re telling yourself that you must choose between peace and honesty, between winning and losing, and so on.

Order your essay today and save 10% with the discount code ESSAYHELP