POWER UP
When? So far we’ve suggested that when other people appear to
have a story to tel l and facts to share, it’s our job to invite them
to do so. Our cues are simple: Others are going to silence or vio
lence. We can see that they’re feeling upset, fearful, or angry. We
can see that if we don’t get at the source of their feelings, we’ll
end up suffering the effects of the feelings. These external reac
tions are our cues to do whatever it takes to help others retrace
their Paths to Action.
How? We’ve also suggested that whatever we do to invite the
other person to open up and share his or her path, our invitation
must be sincere. As hard as it sounds, we must be sincere in the
face of hostility, fear, or even abuse-which leads us to the next
question.
What? What are we supposed to actually do? What does it
take to get others to share their path-stories and facts alike? In
a word, it requires listening. In order for people to move from
acting on their feelings to talking about their conclusions and
observations, we must listen in a way that makes it safe for oth
ers to share their intimate thoughts. They must believe that when
they share their thoughts, they won’t offend others or be pun
ished for speaking frankly.
AMPP
To encourage others to share their paths we’ll use four power lis
tening tools that can help make it safe for other people to speak
frankly. We call the four skills power listening tools because they
are best remembered with the acronym AMPP-Ask, Mirror,
Paraphrase, and Prime. Luckily, the tools work for both silence
and violence games.
