Despite the fact that we’ve shared the one thing, we’re still left with two questions. First, how does this free flow of meaning lead to success? Second, what can you do to encourage meaning to
We’ll explain the relationship between the free flow of mean ing and success right here and now. The second question-what you must do to stay in dialogue, no matter the circumstances takes the rest of the book.
Fill ing the Pool of Shared Meaning
Each of us enters conversations with our own opinions, feelings,
theories, and experiences about the topic at hand. This unique combination of thoughts and feelings makes up our personal pool of meaning. This pool not only informs us but also propels
our every action. When two or more of us enter crucial conversations, by defi
nition we don’t share the same pool. Our opinions differ. I
believe one thing, you another. I have one history, you another. People who are skilled at dialogue do their best to make it safe
for everyone to add their meaning to the shared pool-even ideas that at first glance appear controversial, wrong, or at odds with their own beliefs. Now, obviously they don’t agree with every idea; they simply do their best to ensure that all ideas find their way into the open.
As the Pool of Shared Meaning grows, it helps people in two ways. First, as individuals are exposed to more accurate
and relevant information, they make better choices. In a very real sense, the Pool of Shared Meaning is a measure of a group’s IQ. The larger the shared pool, the smarter the deci sions. And even though many people may be involved in a choice. when people openly and freely share ideas, the
22 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
increased time investment is more than offset by the quality of the decision.
On the other hand, we’ve all seen what happens when the shared pool is dangerously shallow. When people purposefully withhold meaning from one another, individually smart people can do collectively stupid things.
For example, a client of ours shared the following story. A woman checked into the hospital to have a tonsillectomy,
and the surgical team erroneously removed a portion of her foot. How could this tragedy happen? In fact, why is it that ninety eight thousand hospital deaths each year stem from human error?! In part because many health-care professionals are afraid to speak their minds. In this case, no less than seven people won dered why the surgeon was working on the foot, but said noth ing. Meaning didn’t freely flow because people were afraid to speak up.
Of course, hospitals don’t have a monopoly on fear. In every instance where bosses are smart, highly paid, confident, and out spoken (i.e., most of the world), people tend to hold back their opinions rather than risk angering someone in a position of power.
On the other hand, when people feel comfortable speaking up and meaning does flow freely, the shared pool can dramatically increase a group’s ability to make better decisions. Consider what happened to Kevin’s group. As everyone on the team began to explain his or her opinion, people formed a more clear and com plete picture of the circumstances.
As they began to understand the whys and wherefores of dif ferent proposals, they built off one another. Eventually, as one idea led to the next, and then to the next, they came up with an alternative that no one had originally thought of and that all wholeheartedly supported. As a result of the free flow of mean ing, the whole (final choice) was truly greater than the sum of the original parts. In short: