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ISBN 978-1-4934-3203-5
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Contents
Cover Endorsements i Half Title Page iii Title Page v Copyright Page vi Detailed Contents ix Illustrations xvii Preface xix
Part 1: Theological and Social Perspectives on Family Life 1 1. A Theological Foundation for Family Relationships: Developing a
Theology of the Family 3 2. The Family as a Developing Biosocial System 24
Part 2: Marriage: The Foundation of Family Life 47 3. Mate Selection and Cohabitation: Romance and Reality 49 4. Establishing Marriage: Moving toward Differentiated Unity 78 5. A Model for Biblical Marriage 94
Part 3: The Expansion of Family Life: Parenting and Beyond 109 6. Parenting: The Process of Relationship Empowerment 111 7. Developing a Mature, Reciprocating Self 130 8. Family Spirituality: Nurturing Christian Beliefs, Morals, and
Values 154
9. Adolescence and Midlife: Challenging Changes 167 10. The Joys and Challenges of Family in Later Life 179
Part 4: Gender and Sexuality: Identity in Family Life 199 11. Changing Gender Roles and Relations: The Impact on Family
Life 201 12. Becoming an Authentic Sexual Self 217
Part 5: Communication: The Heart of Family Life 237 13. Intimate Communication: Expressing Love and Anger 239
Part 6: The Social Dynamics of Family Life 257 14. Work and the Family: Conflict or Collaboration? 259 15. Through the Stress and Pain of Family Life 270 16. Divorce and Single-Parent Families 282 17. Complex Families in Contemporary Society 298
Part 7: Family Life in Postmodern Society 315 18. Biblical Family Values in a Modern and Postmodern World 317 19. Creating a Family-Friendly Society 331
Bibliography 343 Index 379 Back Cover 390
Detailed Contents
Cover Endorsements i Half Title Page iii Title Page v Copyright Page vi Illustrations xvii Preface xix
Part 1: Theological and Social Perspectives on Family Life 1 1. A Theological Foundation for Family Relationships: Developing a
Theology of the Family 3 Trinitarian Relationality 4
God in Relationship 6
Elements in a Theology of Family Relationships 8
Covenant: To Love and Be Loved 10
Grace: To Forgive and Be Forgiven 13
Empowerment: To Serve and Be Served 15
Intimacy: To Know and Be Known 19
Applying the Theological Model: From Hurting to Healing Behaviors 20
2. The Family as a Developing Biosocial System 24 Family-Systems Theory 24
Simple Feedback Cybernetic Control Morphogenesis Reorientation
Biological Influences on the Family 32
Genetic Factors Neurological Factors
Family-Development Theory 35
An Integration of Systems and Development Theories 39
Cohesion Adaptability Communication Role Structure
Part 2: Marriage: The Foundation of Family Life 47 3. Mate Selection and Cohabitation: Romance and Reality 49
Mate Selection in Traditional Cultures 50
Mate Selection and the Role of Romantic Love 52
Theories of Mate Selection 54
“Like Marries Like” Theory Bowen Family Systems Theory Personality Theory Filter Theory Marriage Markets Theory Other Theories
A Christian Perspective on Mate Selection 57
Cohabitation: A Path toward or Alternative to Marriage? 60
Is Cohabitation a Step toward Marriage? What Does Culture Have to Do with It? Making the Decision to Cohabit
WHAT DOES LOVE HAVE TO DO WITH IT? WHAT DOES COMMITMENT HAVE TO DO WITH IT? EVENTUAL OUTCOMES
Does Premarital Cohabitation Lead to Marital Adjustment? Is There a Selective Factor? How Does Cohabitation Impact Children? A Christian Perspective on Cohabitation
WHAT IS THE NATURE OF COMMITMENT IN COHABITING RELATIONSHIPS?
WHEN ARE TWO PEOPLE MARRIED IN THE SIGHT OF GOD?
IS COHABITATION A THREAT TO THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE? HOW SHOULD THE CHURCH RESPOND TO COHABITING COUPLES?
Discerning God’s Will 75
4. Establishing Marriage: Moving toward Differentiated Unity 78 Factors That Predict Marital Quality 78
Resolving Issues Related to the Family of Origin 80
Parents as Role Models Parental Support Adaptability
The Dilemma of Modern Marriage 86
Differentiated Unity: Becoming One and Retaining Uniqueness 87
Learning New Roles in the Marital Dance 89
Adjustment in the Marital Dance 93
5. A Model for Biblical Marriage 94 Commitment 95
Adaptability 99
Leadership and Decision-Making 102
Communication 104
Dual-Earner Marriage 104
The Mindset at the Center of Christian Marriage 107
Part 3: The Expansion of Family Life: Parenting and Beyond 109 6. Parenting: The Process of Relationship Empowerment 111
The Basic Components of Parenting Styles 114
Approaches to Discipline Types of Leadership
Alternative Parenting Styles 117
Instrumental Parenting NEGLECTFUL TEACHING MODELING DISCIPLING
Socio-emotional Parenting NEGLECTFUL AUTHORITARIAN PERMISSIVE AUTHORITATIVE
Other Impacts of Parenting Styles 123
Biological Factors in Parenting 124
A Biblical Model of Parenting 125
The Case for Coparenting 128
7. Developing a Mature, Reciprocating Self 130 Theories of Child Development 132
Psychoanalytic Theory: Internal Focus Erikson’s Neopsychoanalytic or Psychosocial Theory: Infancy through Adulthood Cognitive Structural Theories Cognitive Development Theory: The Child as a Developing Scientist Object Relations Theory: The Child as an Object Needing Love Social Learning Theory: The Child as Learner Vygotsky’s Sociocultural Theory: Parenting as Scaffolding Social Ecology: Child Development in the Village
A Critique of Child Development Theories in Light of Biblical Assumptions 143
Internal Tension Capacity to Make Choices Created for Community
Parenting Young Children 146
Unconditional Love and Self-Validation Acceptance of Differences Inherent in the Family Constellation Communication Forgiveness Serving Discipline
8. Family Spirituality: Nurturing Christian Beliefs, Morals, and Values 154
Moral Development 155
Faith Development 157
A Trinitarian Model of Family Spirituality 159
Differentiation in Christ Spiritual Differentiation in the Family Family Spirituality and Sanctification
Dealing with Differences in Faith 162
Family Spirituality Embedded in Supportive Community 164
Family Spirituality as a Process 165
9. Adolescence and Midlife: Challenging Changes 167 Adolescence 168
The Origin of the Adolescent Stage Adolescence as an Identity Crisis
Midlife 171
Parent-Adolescent Relationships 173
Parental Stimuli of Adolescent Rebellion UNWISE CHILD-REARING PRACTICES UNSATISFACTORY DIVISION OF PARENTAL AUTHORITY
Empowering Adolescent Children
10. The Joys and Challenges of Family in Later Life 179 The Launching Stage 180
Transition Tasks Contemporary Obstacles to Successful Launching
The Postlaunching Stage 183
Grandparenting Multigenerational Households
The Retirement Stage 190
Couple Satisfaction and Challenge Caring for Aging Family Members
Part 4: Gender and Sexuality: Identity in Family Life 199 11. Changing Gender Roles and Relations: The Impact on Family
Life 201 Why Gender Roles and Relations Are Changing 202
Explanations of Gender Differences 203
Critical Theory
Biblical Feminism A Radical Proposal for Reconciliation Toward an Integrated View of Gender Differences
Changing Gender Relations and Family Life 211
Women in Family Life Men in Family Life
Coparenting: The Need for Mothering and Fathering 213
A Concluding Comment 215
12. Becoming an Authentic Sexual Self 217 Societal Attitudes toward Sexuality 218
The Origin of Sexuality 220
The Meaning of Sexuality 222
A Biblical Perspective on Human Sexuality 223
Sexual Wholeness in a Broken World 225
Sex and Singleness Masturbation Sexual Identity Marital Sexuality
Part 5: Communication: The Heart of Family Life 237 13. Intimate Communication: Expressing Love and Anger 239
The Effects of Expressing Love 240
Nonverbal Expressions of Love Obstacles to Expressing Love The Expression of Love in Family Relationships
Expressing Anger: Negotiating the Inevitable Conflicts 245
A Destructive Approach to Conflict: Denial Constructive Approaches
IDENTIFY THE ISSUE STICK TO THE ISSUE CHOOSE THE RIGHT TIME AND PLACE AFFIRM THE POSITIVES LEAVE PAST ISSUES IN THE PAST AVOID ATTACKING BEHAVIORS
AVOID PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIORS AVOID TRIANGLES
A Biblical Perspective on Anger Conflict Resolution Conflict Management
WITHDRAWERS YIELDERS WINNERS RESOLVERS COMPROMISERS
Part 6: The Social Dynamics of Family Life 257 14. Work and the Family: Conflict or Collaboration? 259
