+1 (208) 254-6996 [email protected]

AUgly or handsome,@ said Candide, AI am a man of honor and, as such, am obliged to love her still. But how could she possibly have been reduced to so abject a condition, when I sent five or six millions to her by [email protected]

ALord bless me,@ said Cacambo, Awas not I obliged to give two millions to Seignor Don Fernando d’Ibaraa y Figueora y Mascarenes y Lampourdos y Souza, the Governor of Buenos Aires, for liberty to take Miss Cunégonde away with me? And then did not a brave fellow of a pirate gallantly strip us of all the rest? And then did not this same pirate carry us with him to Cape Matapan, to Milo, to Nicaria, to Samos, to Petra, to the Dardanelles, to Marmora, to Scutari? Miss Cunégonde and the old woman are now servants to the prince I have told you of; and I myself am slave to the dethroned [email protected]

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AUgly or handsome,@ said Candide, AI am a man of honor and, as such, am obliged to love her still. But how could she possibly have been reduced to so abject a condition
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AWhat a chain of shocking [email protected] exclaimed Candide. ABut after all, I have still some diamonds left, with which I can easily procure Cunégonde’s liberty. It is a pity though she is grown so [email protected]

Then turning to Martin, AWhat think you, friend,@ said he, Awhose condition is most to be pitied, the Emperor Achmet’s, the Emperor Ivan’s, King Charles Edward‘s, or [email protected]

AFaith, I cannot resolve your question,@ said Martin, Awithout being able to enter your [email protected]

[email protected] cried Candide, Awas Pangloss here now, he would know and satisfy me at [email protected]

AI know not,@ said Martin, Ain what balance your Pangloss could have weighed the misfortunes of mankind and have set a just estimation on their sufferings. All that I pretend to know of the matter is that there are millions of men on the earth, whose conditions are a hundred times more pitiable than those of

King Charles Edward, the Emperor Ivan, or Sultan [email protected] AWhy, that may be,@ answered Candide.

In a few days they reached the Bosphorus; and the first thing Candide did was to pay a high ransom for Cacambo; then, without losing time, he and his companions went on board a galley, in order to search for his Cunégonde on the banks of the Propontis, notwithstanding she had grown so ugly.

There were two slaves among the crew of the galley, who rowed very ill, and to whose bare backs the master of the vessel frequently applied a lash. Candide, from natural sympathy, looked at these two slaves more attentively than at any of the rest and drew near them with an eye of pity. Their features, though greatly disfigured, appeared to him to bear a strong resemblance with those of Pangloss and the unhappy Baron Jesuit, Cunégonde’s brother. This idea affected him with grief and compassion: he examined them more attentively than before.

AIn truth,@ said he, turning to Martin, Aif I had not seen my master Pangloss fairly hanged, and had not myself been unlucky enough to run the Baron through the body, I should absolutely think those two rowers were the [email protected]

No sooner had Candide uttered the names of the Baron and Pangloss, than the two slaves gave a great cry, ceased rowing, and let fall their oars.. The master of the vessel, seeing this, ran up to them, and redoubled the discipline of the lash.

AHold, hold,@ cried Candide, AI will give you what money you shall ask for these two [email protected] AGood heavens! it is Candide,@ said one of the men.

[email protected] cried the other.

Do I dream,@ said Candide, Aor am I awake? Am I actually on board this galley? Is this My Lord the Baron, whom I killed? and that my master Pangloss, whom I saw hanged before my [email protected] AIt is I! it is [email protected] cried they both together.

AWhat! is this your great [email protected] said Martin.

AMy dear sir,@ said Candide to the master of the galley, Ahow much do you ask for the ransom of the Baron of Thunder-ten-tronckh, who is one of the first barons of the empire, and of Monsieur Pangloss, the most profound metaphysician in [email protected]

AWhy, then, Christian cur,@ replied the Turkish captain, Asince these two dogs of Christian slaves are barons and metaphysicians, who no doubt are of high rank in their own country, you will give me fifty thousand [email protected]

AYou shall have them, sir; carry me back as quick as thought to Constantinople, and you shall receive the money immediatelyBBut no! carry me first to Cuné[email protected]

The captain, upon Candide’s first proposal, had already tacked about, and he made the crew ply their oars so effectually, that the vessel flew through the water, quicker than a bird cleaves the air.

Candide bestowed a thousand embraces on the Baron and Pangloss. AAnd so then, my dear Baron, I did not kill you? and you, my dear Pangloss, are you come to life again after your hanging? But how came you slaves on board a Turkish [email protected]

AAnd is it true that my dear sister is in this [email protected] said the Baron.

AYes,@ said Cacambo.

AAnd do I once again behold my dear [email protected] said Pangloss.

Candide presented Martin and Cacambo to them; they embraced each other, and all spoke together. The galley flew like lightning, and soon they were got back to port. Candide instantly sent for a Jew, to whom he sold for fifty thousand sequins a diamond richly worth one hundred thousand, though the fellow swore to him all the time by Father Abraham that he gave him the most he could possibly afford. He no sooner got the money into his hands, than he paid it down for the ransom of the Baron and Pangloss. The latter flung himself at the feet of his deliverer and bathed him with his tears; the former thanked him with a nod and promised to return him the money the first opportunity.

ABut is it possible,@ said he, Athat my sister should be in [email protected]

ANothing is more possible,@ answered Cacambo, Afor she scours the dishes in the house of a

Transylvanian [email protected]

Candide sent directly for two Jews and sold more diamonds to them; and then he set out with his companions in another galley, to deliver Cunégonde from slavery.

Chapter 28 – What Befell Candide, Cunégonde, Pangloss, Martin, etc.

APardon,@ said Candide to the Baron; Aonce more let me entreat your pardon, Reverend Father, for running you through the [email protected]

ASay no more about it,@ replied the Baron. AI was a little too hasty I must own; but as you seem to be desirous to know by what accident I came to be a slave on board the galley where you saw me, I will inform you. After I had been cured of the wound you gave me, I was attacked and carried off by a party of Spanish troops, who clapped me in prison in Buenos Aires at the very time my sister was setting out from there. I asked leave to return to Rome, to the general of my Order, who appointed me chaplain to the French Ambassador at Constantinople. I had not been a week in my new office, when I happened to meet one evening a young page to the Sultan, extremely handsome and well-made. The weather was very hot; the young man had an inclination to bathe. I took the opportunity to bathe likewise. I did not know it was a crime for a Christian to be found naked in company with a young Turk. A cadi ordered me to receive a hundred blows on the soles of my feet, and sent me to the galleys. I do not believe that there was ever an act of more flagrant injustice. But I would like to know how my sister came to be a scullion to a

Transylvanian prince who has taken refuge among the [email protected]

ABut how happens it that I behold you again, my dear [email protected] said Candide.

It is true,@ answered Pangloss, Ayou saw me hanged, though I ought properly to have been burned; but you may remember, that it rained extremely hard when they were going to roast me. The storm was so violent that they found it impossible to light the fire, and so they hanged me because they could do no better. A surgeon purchased my body, carried it home, and prepared to dissect me. He began by making a crucial incision from my navel to the clavicle. It is impossible for anyone to have been more lamely hanged than I had been. The executioner was a subdeacon and knew how to burn people very well, but as for hanging, he was a novice at it, being quite out of practice; the cord being wet, and not slipping properly, the noose did not tighten properly. In short, I still continued to breathe; the surgeon=s incision made me scream to such a degree, that he fell flat upon his back; imagining it was the Devil he was dissecting, he ran away, and in his fright tumbled down stairs. His wife hearing the noise, flew from the next room, and seeing me stretched upon the table with my incision, was still more terrified than her husband, and fell over him. When they had a little recovered themselves, I heard her say to her husband, ‘My dear, how could you think of dissecting a heretic? Don’t you know that the Devil is always in them? I’ll run directly to a priest to come and drive the evil spirit out.’ I trembled from head to foot at hearing her talk in this manner and exerted what little strength I had left to cry out, ‘Have mercy on me!’ At length the surgeon took courage, sewed up my wound, and his wife nursed me; and I was upon my legs in two weeks. The barber got me a place as a lackey to a Knight of Malta, who was going to Venice; but finding my master had no money to pay me my wages, I entered into the service of a Venetian merchant and went with him to Constantinople.

AOne day I happened to enter a mosque, where I saw no one but an old man and a very pretty young female devotee, who was saying her prayers; her neck was quite bare, and between her breasts she had a beautiful nosegay of tulips, roses, anemones, ranunculuses, hyacinths, and auriculas. She let fall her nosegay. I ran immediately to take it up and presented it to her with a most respectful bow. I was so long in replacing it that the man began to be angry; and, perceiving I was a Christian, he cried out for help; they carried me before the cadi, who ordered me to receive one hundred bastinadoes, and sent me to the galleys. I was chained in the very galley and to the very same bench with the Baron. On board this galley there were four young men belonging to Marseilles, five Neapolitan priests, and two monks of Corfu, who told us that these sorts of thing happened every day. The Baron pretended that he had been worse used than myself; and I insisted that there was far less harm in taking up a nosegay and putting it between a woman’s breasts than to be found stark naked with a page to a Sultan. We were continually whipped, and received twenty lashes a day with a heavy thong, when the concatenation of events in the universe brought you on board our galley to ransom us from [email protected]

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