AThus agitated and perplexed, now distracted and lost, now half dead with grief, I turned over in my mind the murder of my father, mother, and brother, committed before my eyes; the insolence of the rascally Bulgarian soldier; the wound he gave me in the groin; my servitude; my being a cook-wench to my Bulgarian captain; my subjection to Don Issachar, and my cruel Inquisitor; the hanging of Doctor Pangloss; the miserere sung while you were being whipped; and particularly the kiss I gave you behind the screen, the last day I ever beheld you. I returned thanks to God for having brought you to the place where I was, after so many trials. I charged the old woman who attends me to bring you here as soon as was convenient. She has punctually executed my orders, and I now enjoy the inexpressible satisfaction of seeing you, hearing you, and speaking to you. But you must certainly be half-dead with hunger; I myself have a great inclination to eat. Let us sit down to [email protected]
Upon this the two lovers immediately placed themselves at table, and, after having supped, they returned to seat themselves again on the magnificent sofa already mentioned, where they were in amorous dalliance, when Senor Don Issachar, one of the masters of the house, entered unexpectedly; it was the Sabbath day, and he came to enjoy his privilege and sigh forth his passion at the feet of the fair Cunégonde.
Chapter 9 – What Happened to Cunégonde, Candide, the Grand Inquisitor, and the Jew
This same Issachar was the most choleric little Hebrew that had ever been in Israel since the captivity of Babylon.
In uttering these words, he drew out a long dagger, which he always carried about him, and never dreaming that his adversary had any arms, he attacked him most furiously; but our honest Westphalian had received from the old woman a handsome sword with the suit of clothes. Candide drew his rapier, and though he was very gentle and sweet-tempered, he laid the Israelite dead on the floor at the fair Cunégonde’s feet.
AHad not Pangloss been hanged,@ replied Candide, Ahe would have given us most excellent advice, in this emergency; for he was a profound philosopher. But, since he is not here, let us consult the old [email protected]
She was very sensible, and was beginning to give her advice, when another door opened on a sudden. It was now one o’clock in the morning, and of course the beginning of Sunday, which, by agreement, fell to My Lord Inquisitor. Entering he discovered the whipped Candide with his drawn sword in his hand, a dead body stretched on the floor, Cunégonde frightened out of her wits, and the old woman giving advice.
At that very moment, a sudden thought came into Candide’s head. AIf this holy man,@ thought he, Ashould call assistance, I shall most undoubtedly be consigned to the flames, and Cunégonde may perhaps meet with no better treatment: besides, he was the cause of my being so cruelly whipped; he is my rival; and as I have now begun to dip my hands in blood, I will kill away, for there is no time to [email protected] This whole train of reasoning was clear and instantaneous; so that, without giving time to the
Inquisitor to recover from his surprise, he ran him through the body, and laid him by the side of the Jew.
AYou=ve done it [email protected] cried Cunégonde. ANow there can be no mercy for us, we are excommunicated; our last hour is come. But how could you, who are of so mild a temper, despatch a Jew and an Inquisitor in two minutes’ [email protected]
ABeautiful maiden,@ answered Candide, Awhen a man is in love, is jealous, and has been flogged by the Inquisition, he is not [email protected]
The old woman then put in her word:
AThere are three Andalusian horses in the stable, with as many bridles and saddles; let the brave Candide get them ready. Madam has a parcel of moidores and jewels, let us mount immediately, though I have lost one buttock; let us set out for Cadiz; it is the finest weather in the world, and there is great pleasure in traveling in the cool of the [email protected]
Candide, without any further hesitation, saddled the three horses; and Cunégonde, the old woman, and he, set out, and traveled thirty miles without once halting. While they were making the best of their way, the Holy Brotherhood entered the house. My Lord, the Inquisitor, was interred in a magnificent manner, and Master Issachar was thrown upon a dunghill.
Candide, Cunégonde, and the old woman, had by this time reached the little town of Avacena in the midst of the mountains of Sierra Morena and were engaged in the following conversation in an inn, where they had taken up their quarters.
Chapter 10 – In What Distress Candide, Cunégonde, and the Old Woman Arrive at Cadiz, and Of Their Embarkation
AWho could it be that has robbed me of my gold and [email protected] exclaimed Cunégonde, all bathed in tears. AHow shall we live? What shall we do? Where shall I find Inquisitors and Jews who can give me [email protected]
[email protected] said the old woman, AI have a shrewd suspicion of a reverend Franciscan father, who lay last night in the same inn with us at Badajoz. God forbid I should condemn any one wrongfully, but he came into our room twice, and he set off in the morning long before [email protected]
[email protected] said Candide, APangloss has often demonstrated to me that the goods of this world are common to all men, and that everyone has an equal right to the enjoyment of them; but, not withstanding, according to these principles, the Franciscan ought to have left us enough to carry us to the end of our journey. Have you nothing at all left, my dear Cuné[email protected] ANot a maravedi,@ replied she.
AWhat is to be done [email protected] said Candide.
ASell one of the horses,@ replied the old woman. AI will get up behind Miss Cunégonde, though I have only one buttock to ride on, and we shall reach [email protected]
In the same inn there was a Benedictine friar, who bought the horse very cheap. Candide,
Cunégonde, and the old woman, after passing through Lucina, Chellas, and Letrixa, arrived at length at Cadiz. A fleet was then getting ready, and troops were assembling in order to reason with the reverend fathers, Jesuits of Paraguay, who were accused of having excited one of the Indian tribes in the neighborhood of the town of the Holy Sacrament, to revolt against the Kings of Spain and Portugal[footnoteRef:14]. [14: Voltaire has shifted dates and locations about but the resistance of the Jesuits, like the two Lisbon earthquakes, were matters of recent history. ]
Candide, having been in the Bulgarian service, performed the military exercise of that nation before the general of this little army with so intrepid an air, and with such agility and expedition, that he received the command of an infantry company. Being now made a captain, he embarked with Cunégonde, the old woman, two valets, and the two Andalusian horses, which had belonged to the Grand Inquisitor of Portugal.
During their voyage they occupied themselves with many profound reasonings on poor Pangloss’s philosophy.
AWe are now going into another world, and surely it must be there that everything is for the best; for I must confess that we have had some reason to complain of what passes in ours, both in the physical and the moral part. Though I have a sincere love for you,@ said Cunégonde, Ayet I still shudder at the reflection of what I have seen and [email protected]
AAll will be well,@ replied Candide, Athe sea of this new world is already better than our European seas: it is smoother, and the winds blow more [email protected]
AGod grant it,@ said Cunégonde, Abut I have met with such terrible treatment in this world that I have almost lost all hopes of a better [email protected]