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AMaster,@ replied the knowing valet, Ayou have made a precious piece of work of it; do you know that you have killed the lovers of these two [email protected]

ATheir lovers! Cacambo, you are jesting! It cannot be! I can never believe [email protected]

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AMaster,@ replied the knowing valet, Ayou have made a precious piece of work of it; do you know that you have killed the lovers of these two [email protected]
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ADear sir,@ replied Cacambo, Ayou are surprised at everything. Why should you think it so strange that there should be a country where monkeys earn themselves the good graces of ladies? They are onefourth man as I am quarter-part [email protected]

[email protected] replied Candide, AI remember to have heard my master Pangloss say that such misadventures as these frequently came to pass in former times, and that such comminglings produced centaurs, fauns, and satyrs; and that many of the ancients had seen such monsters; but I looked upon all that as [email protected]

ANow you ee,@ said Cacambo, Athat it is very true, and you see what use is made of those creatures by persons who have not been properly educated; all I am afraid of is that these same ladies may make things difficult for [email protected]

These judicious reflections operated so far on Candide as to make him quit the meadow and strike into a thicket. There he and Cacambo supped, and after heartily cursing the Grand Inquisitor, the Governor of Buenos Aires, and the Baron, they fell asleep on the ground. When they awoke they were surprised to find that they could not move; the reason was that the Oreillons, the inhabitants of that country, to whom the ladies had complained, had bound them with cords made of tree-bark. They saw themselves surrounded by fifty Oreillons, all naked and armed with bows and arrows, clubs, and hatchets of flint; some were making a fire under a large cauldron; and others were preparing spits, crying out one and all, AA Jesuit! a

Jesuit! we shall be revenged and also have an excellent meal; let us eat Jesuit; let us dine on [email protected]

AI told you, master,@ cried Cacambo, mournfully, Athat those two wenches would play us some scurvy [email protected]

Candide, seeing the cauldron and the spits, cried out, AI suppose they are going either to boil or roast us. Ah! what would Pangloss say if he were to see what a completely natural man is really like?

Everything is for the best; it may be so; but I must confess it is something hard to be bereft of dear Cunégonde, and to be spitted like a rabbit by these barbarous [email protected]

Cacambo, who never lost his presence of mind in distress, said to the disconsolate Candide, ADo not despair; I understand a little of the jargon of these people; I will speak to [email protected]

AAy, pray do,@ said Candide, Aand be sure you make them sensible of the horrid barbarity of boiling and roasting human creatures and how little Christianity there is in such [email protected]

AGentlemen,@ said Cacambo, Ayou think perhaps you are going to feast upon a Jesuit; if so, it is mighty well; nothing can be more agreeable to justice or the palate than thus to treat your enemies. Indeed the law of nature teaches us to kill our neighbor as well as our enemies, a practice obsereved all over the world; and if we do not indulge ourselves in eating human flesh, as you do, it is because we have much better fare; but for your parts, who have not such resources as we, it is certainly much better judged to feast upon your enemies than to throw their bodies to the fowls of the air; and thus lose all the fruits of your victory.

ABut surely, gentlemen, you would not choose to eat your friends. You imagine you are going to roast a Jesuit, whereas my master is your friend, your defender, and you are going to spit the very man who has been destroying your enemies; as to myself, I am your countryman; this gentleman is my master, and so far from being a Jesuit, give me leave to tell you he has very lately killed one of that order, whose garments he now wears and which have probably occasioned your mistake. To convince you of the truth of what I say, take the habit he has on and carry it to the frontier of the Jesuits’ kingdom and inquire whether my master did not kill one of their officers. There will be little or no time lost by this, and you may still reserve our bodies in your power to feast on if you should find what we have told you to be false. But, on the contrary, if you find it to be true, I am persuaded you are too well acquainted with the principles of the laws of society, humanity, and justice, not to use us courteously, and suffer us to depart [email protected]

This speech appeared very reasonable to the Oreillons; they deputed two of their people with all expedition to inquire into the truth of this affair, who acquitted themselves of their commission like men of sense and soon returned with good tidings for our distressed adventurers. Upon this they were set free, and those who were so lately going to roast and boil them now showed them all sorts of civilities, offered them girls, gave them refreshments, and reconducted them to the confines of their country, crying before them all the way, in token of joy, AHe is no Jesuit! he is no [email protected]

Candide could not help admiring the cause of his deliverance. AWhat barbarous men! what barbarous [email protected] cried he. AIf I had not fortunately run my sword up to the hilt in the body of

Cunégonde’s brother, I should have certainly been eaten alive. But it seems that after all, natural man is an excellent thing; since these people, instead of eating me, showed me a thousand civilities as soon as they knew I was not a [email protected]

Chapter 17 – Candide and His Valet Arrive in the Country of El Dorado-What They Saw There

When they reached the frontier of Oreillon-country, Cacambo said to Candide, AYou see, this hemisphere is not better than the other; now take my advice and let us return to Europe by the shortest way possible[email protected]

ABut how can we get [email protected] said Candide; Aand where shall we go to? My own country? The Bulgarians and the Abares are laying that waste with fire and sword. Or shall we go to Portugal? There I shall be burned; and if we abide here we are every moment in danger of being cooked. But how can I bring myself to quit that part of the world where my dear Cunégonde [email protected]

ALet us turn towards Cayenne,@ said Cacambo. AThere we shall meet with some Frenchmen, for you know those gentry ramble all over the world. Perhaps they will assist us, and God will look with pity on our [email protected]

It was not so easy to get to Cayenne. They knew pretty nearly whereabouts it lay; but the mountains, rivers, precipices, robbers, savages, were dreadful obstacles in the way. Their horses died with fatigue and their provisions were at an end. They subsisted a whole month on wild fruit, till at length they came to a little river bordered with cocoa trees; the sight of which at once revived their drooping spirits and furnished nourishment for their enfeebled bodies.

Cacambo, who was always giving as advice as good as the old woman herself, said to Candide, AYou see there is no holding out any longer; we have traveled enough on foot. I spy an empty canoe near the river side; let us fill it with cocoanuts, get into it, and go down with the stream; a river always leads to some inhabited place. If we do not meet with agreeable things, we shall at least meet with something [email protected] AAgreed,@ replied Candide; Alet us recommend ourselves to [email protected]

They rowed a few leagues down the river, the banks of which were in some places covered with flowers; in others barren; in some parts smooth and level, and in others steep and rugged. The stream widened as they went further on and they eventually came to a spot where it passed into a great hole at the base of frightful rocks, whose summits seemed to reach the clouds. Our two travelers had the courage to commit themselves to this underground torrent, which, contracting in this part, hurried them along with a dreadful noise and rapidity.

At the end of four and twenty hours they saw daylight again; but their canoe was dashed to pieces against the rocks. They were obliged to creep along, from rock to rock, for the space of a league, till at length a spacious plain presented itself to their sight. This place was bounded by a chain of inaccessible mountains.

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