Domestic violence occurs typically between intimate partners or close families, and it is characterized by a repeated pattern of dominance and oppression of a particular victim. The most affected are the weaker individual, who is mainly women and children. However, sometimes victims of abuse are men (Domestic Violence Personal story part 2). The abuser forces the victim to submit to them, thus excising control and power over them (Ashraf et al., 2017). Victims of domestic violence suffer both physically and mentally because if their abuser hurts them physically, they will start developing fear towards the abuser. In this article, exercise power over the lady by beating her even when there is no good reason. The lady begins fearing for her own life. This paper will give an overview of how Eddie exerts the power of his partner, the effects of domestic abuse, and why victims of domestic abuse choose perseverance over leaving such marriages or relationships.
Eddie exerts power over the lady by controlling her movement and interaction with her family, friends, and workmates. This portrays Eddie as someone jealous and possessive. Every time she goes out shopping or visits her family and comes back late with even 10 minutes, Eddie would drag her to the bedroom with her arm, slum her to the bed and start beating her (Domestic Violence Personal Stories part 3). This causes physical injuries to the lady. He would then blame her, saying that she is the reason he is beating her. He would also come up with stories to get an excuse to beat her. The victim states that Eddie is only happy when he is pounding her. He would also go through her phone looking for a reason to beat her.
Furthermore, Eddie exerts power in fewer ways when he keeps calling her work every time and even goes to her workplace to check what she is doing. When he finds her interacting with male colleagues, he will beat her up when she gets home. He even has someone following her every move. Therefore, this is evident that Eddie exerts the power of his victim in all ways.
The effects of domestic violence, in this case, are both physical and emotional abuse. Physical abuse is seen in various ways. Firstly, he would drag her with her arm and this thus bruising her arm in the process. Secondly, he slammed her on the couch, causing her to hit her head. Lastly, by slamming her on the bed and beating her, he would inflict pain on her body (Domestic Violence Personal Stories part 3). Emotional abuse is seen when the victim starts fearing for her life due to Eddie beating her and spying on her. Disconnecting her from her family and friends will also affect her emotionally. She would feel lonely since she would have no one to confide in. Lastly, emotional torture can also be seen where he insults her and accuses her of cheating.
Eddie manages to exert control and isolate the victim by ensuring that she stays at home and does not get a chance to visit or talk to her family and her colleague at work. This is to make sure that she has a chance to share what she is going through in her marriage and expose Eddie. Having someone following her ensures that her every move is monitored (Domestic Violence Personal Stories part 3). If she is not going to work, she is not allowed to leave home to visit her friends or family, and he keeps calling her phone to make sure she is still at home. If she fails to pick up the phone, Eddie will leave work and check on her. He also threatens to commit suicide by driving off Dead Horse point if the victim ever hurts him. Beating her up ensures that she fears him; therefore, he would do whatever he demands.
Domestic violence not only leads to physical harm but can also harm the mental health of the victim and also those around them. Verbal abuse to the victim can be seen as harmless at first but with time, but it can become rooted in the victim’s mind, making it difficult for them to recognize how severe the abuse is. Women who face domestic abuse find it difficult to make their own choices due to fear of further violation (Kaur and Garg,2008). They live in constant fear and prioritize their partner’s needs as a way of survival; therefore, they might be unable to focus on their wellbeing. Isolation from their families and friend can lead to stress and fear in these women as they feel that they don’t have anyone to confide in. children who grow up witnessing abuse are likely to be violent in school, involve themselves in drug abuse and crimes, or become abuser in future.
Women may decide to stay in an abusive marriage or relationship if they depend on their abuser economically, and thus they cannot sustain their financial needs (Kaur and Garg,2008). Another reason could be the cultural values of the society they live in, which is against divorce, and hence women will be afraid of being judged. In addition, they might have invested so much in their marriage, financially, mentally, and also their time, and therefore they will feel that by leaving, they will lose a lot. Some women may also believe that they deserve to be punished for a mistake they made. Lastly, women may fear to speak about their abuse as they feel that this will anger their partners, who will continue harming them.
Conclusively, domestic violence mainly targets the weaker individual in society, who are mostly women. As seen in Eddie’s case, the abuser gains control over their victim by controlling their movement and isolating them from families and friends. Eddie also inflicts injuries on his victim, making her develop fear towards him. This shows that domestic violence does not only lead to physical injuries but also emotional torture. Victims of abuse may decide to persevere instead of leaving due to fear of losing what they have invested in the marriage or relationship and shame or fear of being judged.
Domestic Violence Personal Stories. (n.d.). http://www.mental-health-today.com/ptsd/domestic/stories.htm
Kaur, R., & Garg, S. (2008). Addressing domestic violence against women: an unfinished agenda. Indian journal of community medicine: official publication of Indian Association of Preventive & Social Medicine, 33(2), 73–76. https://doi.org/10.4103/0970-0218.40871
Ashraf, S., Abrar-ul-Haq, M., & Ashraf, S. (2017). Domestic violence against women: Empirical evidence from Pakistan. Pertanika Journal of Social Sciences & Humanities, 25(3), 1401-1418.