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this assignment is due in 7 hours and there is no extended time 

Part 1: this you can make up and is based on active listening with 5 other people. Conversations you have with others.  You can make this up. Remember 5 situations.  Can be about anything in USA

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1. Record each situation, what you said and what the response by the person you were listening to was.

  • Reflect on the following questions:
    • Was it hard or easy for you to try to communicate using this skill? How did it make you feel? 
    • Was the response to your attempts to active listen during these particular situations similar to or different from what you expected? How?
    • Why and How would you incorporate this type of communication in your work with children?
    • *Make sure to make connections to the attachments 

Part 2: use the conflict resolution steps attachment to do this 

watch the video:  Active Listening/Problem Solving – YouTube 

Describe the scenario

Cleary Identify the steps within the scenario with your explanation use conflict resolution attachment

Discuss what you took away from it- 1. What surprised you? 2. Did the children feel empowered? How? 3. What did you think of the teacher interaction? How did it support the process? 4. What skills were facilitated?

Long Beach City College

CDECE 59: Guiding Young Children

Active Listening

ACTIVE LISTENING is a process of hearing and restating the messages you receive from another person. A lot of the message will be verbal, but you also get clues from tone of voice, body language, behavior, and other more subtle elements of communication. To “LISTEN ACTIVELY”, use all available input to make a good guess at the message a person is trying to communicate, then paraphrase that message in a way that shows you understand and respect the person’s thoughts and feelings.

Often when children have problems, adults trivialize and deny the problem. Another response is to rush in and rescue the child from the problem. Both these responses deny children the right to experience the relatively minor tragedies of childhood from which they can gain experience in handling the bigger problems to come. ACTIVE LISTENING allows you to support the child and show that you trust them to cope with and solve problems for themselves.

WHEN ?

ACTIVE LISTENING can be used almost anytime and with almost anyone. You will use it in conjunction with all the other skills. It is most appropriate when you wish to help other people understand a problem they are having. In addition, it is a good tool for checking to be sure that you understand what another person is telling you. It can also be used to help clarify a situation for both you and the child involved.

With young children, ACTIVE LISTENING can be used as a mirror to allow them to be more aware of themselves and their feelings and to give words to the things they are doing and experiencing. Use it to reflect the activities a child is involved in to show the child that he is important enough for you to pay attention to him.

HOW ?

· Situate yourself so that you can listen to the child and still see the rest of the children you are supervising.

· If it seems that you will be involved for some time, alert the nearest teacher to help watch your area.

· REALLY LISTEN- let the child do most of the talking.

· RESTATE what you hear- Start with the obvious. If a child is yelling, you may not know why, but you guess he is mad or frustrated. Content is usually a good starting point when you are unsure of the feelings involved.

· Add information about the feelings as soon as you can- Guess about the feelings involved, but not about the motives.

· If the child disagrees with you or seems uncomfortable with what you say, try to say it in another way or change it to fit the child’s information better. It is this process of clarifying that can help children better understand their own ideas. It also insures that you actually understand what is being expressed rather than interpreting the words through your own experience.

· AVOID questions, advice, comments and judgments that tend to draw the focus of the interactions away from the child and towards your interests. Let the child lead.

· If you get stuck, revert to the obvious and make sure you clarify each statement along the way. It may be that your statements were accurate but the child has decided that he is not ready to deal with his feelings. When the opportunity arises, try again.

· Remember , your job is to make sense of what you see, hear and feel in order to really understand what is happening with the child.

WHY ?

ACTIVE LISTENING is a powerful method for validating a child. It lets a child feel important enough to warrant a grown-up’s close attention. It demonstrates acceptance of the child because you are listening instead of telling, denying or controlling. It helps the child hear himself.

1

Try to:

Listen

Stay in the present

Stick to feelings

Clarify

Try not to:

Blame

Question

Argue

Moralize

Judge

Promise

Advise

What is it?

ACTIVE LISTENING is a process of hearing and restating/ listening and reflecting back the messages you receive from another person. It is the act of mindfully listening, hearing and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding.

Typically, we listen to others to know what we will say next, give our opinion or solve the problem rather than actually listening to the person-

Katie Owens- TEDX- youth

To “LISTEN ACTIVELY”, use all available input to make a good guess at the message a person is trying to communicate, then paraphrase that message in a way that shows you understand and respect the person’s thoughts and feelings.

(Demo)

Often when children have problems, adults trivialize and deny the problem.

Another response is to rush in and rescue the child from the problem.

-Both these responses deny children their feelings and the right to experience the relatively minor tragedies of childhood from which they can gain experience in handling the bigger problems to come.

“Bike Stuck”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymeWvyZiH8Q

ACTIVE LISTENING allows you to support the child and show that you trust them to cope with and solve problems for themselves.

ACTIVE LISTENING is a powerful method for validating a child. It lets a child feel important enough to warrant a grown-up’s close attention. It demonstrates acceptance of the child because you are listening instead of telling, denying or controlling. It helps the child hear himself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlbjaOcSOz4

  • Find a partner (friend, parent, sibling, etc)
  • Tell your partner about a time, either as an adult or a child, when someone hurt your feelings.

Listener: Practice the skill of not making any verbal comments during the “tellers” communication.

  • When the teller is done talking. the listener should paraphrase back to them what they heard them say in a way that shows you understand and respect the person’s thoughts and feelings.
  • Trade roles and complete the process again
  • Active Listening Initial Response Practice

*For this activity, you will practice only your initial reponse- What would you say?

Ask yourself: ”What is the feeling?”___________________

“What is the need?”________________

Then: What is your initial Response?___________________

  • For communication to be effective it has to be not just delivered but received.
  • Our goal in communicating to children is to have messages accepted and acted upon.

1. Simplicity

  • Communicate what you want from children in the simplest form possible. Too many words confuse the situation and make it difficult for children to get your point.

2. Honesty

  • It is never acceptable to lie to or trick children into compliance.

Children will quickly learn that you are not to be trusted and do not live up to what you say.

It is better to deal with children’s emotions up front than to have to deal with their emotions about the 1st issue and their emotions about your deception too.

3. Be Direct

  • Rambling, hinting and insinuating are of little value to adults and are totally lost on children.

Get to the point and say it clearly.

4. Tact

  • Treat children with the same respect you would treat guests in your home with.

If it would feel condescending to you, it’s insincere

5. Use accurate correct language

  • Value judgements such as good, bad, nice, kind, pretty etc. can be confusing to children.

If you want children to know something, say it.

6. Respect

  • You can not have open, honest communication with someone you disdain.

Respect for children is expressed by recognizing and protecting their dignity and rights

Respectful adults assertively enforce fair rules without name calling, teasing, embarrassing, hurting or bullying.

7. Flexibility

  • Adults must constantly seek a balance between firm predictable limits and the flexibility to listen, adapt and compromise appropriately.

8. Confidence

  • A clear-eyed look of confidence greatly increases the probability of compliance from children and adults.

9. Persistence

  • If you are committed to the guidance perspective you have to give it time to work.
  • Punitive communication such as threats and intimidation may get quick results at first but undermine discipline in the long run.

10. Optimism

  • When we share our belief that things will not always be the way they are at the moment of conflict we help children to develop a hopeful attitude.

11. Empathy

  • Empathy means taking a walk in the shoes of who you are dealing with.
  • In order for positive communication to work, true understanding of children and what they are going through needs to be present.

CDLL 52:

6 Steps to Conflict Resolution

Remember! -Think about what the feelings might be behind the behavior

-Try not to: question, moralize, judge or predict…just follow the process

Step 1 : Approach the situation calmly.

Observe the situation, approach the children with a calm voice, and sit with them on the floor. Stop any hurtful behavior if necessary,

Step 2 : Acknowledge children’s feelings. ACTIVE LISTEN

Describe the feeling you observe and the details of what you see.

Step 3: Gather information.

Ask open-ended questions, directing your questions to one child, then another.

Step 4 : Restate the problem.

Based on what the children say, clarify the problem and check your statement with the children.

Step 5: Ask for ideas for solutions and choose one together.

Encourage children to talk to each other. Be prepared to give suggestions. When children arrive at a solution, restate it and check with them to make sure they are in agreement.

Step 6: Be prepared to give follow-up support.

Sometimes solutions need clarifying as the children begin to play again.

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